Au revoir pour le moment! ~ Goodbye for now

I don’t know what the plan is if we are being honest. I want to continue to post and write on this in the future because if is a good creative outlet. However I don’t know how consistent I will be or when I will start up again. I love to write, and I will always write but it may not all be on here. I will see you guys later!

~ l’amour de la vie est belle

:

~ Love from life is beautiful

La vie est belle
la vie est belle
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My Journey Through This year!

Throughout the year I have grown as a writer and as a person. I used to be afraid to write because I was scared that not everyone would like what I had to say. I soon found out, I shouldn’t write for other people, I should write for myself. Through writing, I have found the person I want to be and who I am. And I have learned how to fully express what I am feeling better, and how to put what I am thinking into words. Sometimes when writing, I write about things I didn’t even know upset me or things I didn’t know I cared about. It really helped me. I often found myself writing about the ocean. The ocean, in many different scenarios, was me.  I most often write free verse poetry. Because of this year and getting over my fear, I want to continue to write in the future. I can not pick a favorite piece, so here are just a couple I like.

 

An Ode To The Sea:

IMG_1713

When love fails and the earth falls,

The Sea will stand still.

Singing its sorrow song to the ones who cant hear.

It mourns for the

broken

and weeps for the

ill.

But who will sing to the sorrow Sea,

To the sailors lost in tragedy and

the monsters found to close to the bays.

The boat mass starts to sway when the world falls into decay.

But the sorrow Sea still sings its sweet song, because it knows, even the broken will try to sing along.

But nobody ever sings to the sorrow Sea its waves drenched with the worlds tragedy.

So when love fails and the earth falls the Sea will stand still.

Watching you stop your pain with a

pill,

but it never really stops the pain Does it? So the sorrow sea will sing louder because you are not the one to blame.

An Ode to the beautiful Sea, the one who loves even the broken,

and keeps my tragedy.

This one is about the sea I love to hear other people’s view on what the sea means to them in this story.I chose this one because I love to hear everyones views and thoughts on this piece. and I just love the way it flows. I wrote this one while upset one night  and it kind of came in fragments throughout the day. Then I just ended up putting it together in class for are poem books. It really helped me feel better.

I will always love you:

My
dear I
won’t stop loving
you. I can’t, when
the wind is high the
water low when the whole world
is upside down, I will still love
you. when the rivers run red and the
heavens walk the earth, I will still love you.
when your voice loses its song and your wings too
fragile to fly, I will sing your song and give you
my wings so you may fly. because that is love my dear.

I wrote this one one night because I got it kind of in a dream. So it was like 1 in the morning and I just wrote it all down. That is a picture of my grandparents who have been together for like 65 years. And they are so happy. That’s like everyone’s dream, and what made their marriage last was the strong love they had for one another so this short story reminded me of them. I chose this one because I love the meaning and story behind it. I think this poem really shows another
side to my writing.

The Jolly Boat:

A
Breeze that
Carries me leaving the
Doubt behind
Eagerly
Feeling me with
Great joy and
Hope
Idolizing the heavens when on the
Jolly boat
Killing time when
Living in the
Moment
No sound louder than the song of the
Open Sea
Pounding on the boat
Questions
Ringing in
Silence
Time
Unimportant  when the saltwater rushes through your
Vains my
Wings
Xyloid on
Yahrzeit  the anniversary of the dead. lost at sea, lost in there
Zone of The Unwanted

Another poem about the sea. This one I wrote for my poem book and this was the alphabetical prompt. I chose this one because I love the set up and how fun it is but how difficult it can be to write this type of structure. I love the rhythm to it and there is a lot more where that came from. Hope you liked it!

Sweet Songs To The Sad Crows

Balloons are held down by anchors. Balloons need anchors, as you need air. But my anchor was taken away from me. Passing the heavens as I float away, swooned by the hollow sound of being alone. Forever known as the sad girl who sang to the crows. The girl who jumped off the deep end, never learning how to swim. There’s no longer anyone.

Riding away from the mourning home, the memories of every long night,

every hug,

every tear,

every laugh,

every moment flood me.

And

I

break

 

My tire hits something and I go tumbling over. The gravel is cold and damp, but I do not shiver. I feel the warmth of my blood, dripping from the open wound. I don’t know where I am but I need to get away.

I start to run.

I run till my heart is left behind,

till the world stops spinning,

no tears left to cry.

 

Reaching an open field, it’s pouring now. I fall, my head cocked to the sky, tears blending with rain. The crows cry is mocking as they fly above, wanting to eat the last good left in me. I want to scream, shaking the heavens.

 

“I’m sorry.” I whisper.

“I’M SORRY!” I scream.

Crows’ cackles mix with mine. I want to be seen.

“CAN YOU HEAR ME? I’M SORRY!

The world shakes but I need it to consume me.

“I tried holding it together,”

I’m sobbing now.

but I just can’t, not without you.”

The  world opens up and the mud, the Birch trees, the sad corn all pour in. I look up once more.

I’m sorry my love, I’m sorry.”

I whisper before the world engulfs me.

Floating away with the everlasting balloons.

Singing sweet songs to the sad crows.

Short Story

The Perspective of Notre Dame:

I can feel another piece of me fall away.

Crumbling to the ground.

I can not see what parts of me I have lost, but I can feel that they are gone.

The heat rising from the pit of me, destroying the beauty and hope that was once there.

Gone,

and carried away with the black smoke,

as I was left to

Burn.

An Ode to Sea

When love fails and the earth falls,

The Sea will stand still.

Singing its sorrow song to the ones who cant hear.

It mourns for the

broken

and weeps for the

ill.

But who will sing to the sorrow Sea,

To the sailors lost in tragedy and

the monsters found to close to the bays.

The boat mass starts to sway when the world falls into decay.

But the sorrow Sea still sings its sweet song, because it knows, even the broken will try to sing along.

But nobody ever sings to the sorrow Sea its waves drenched with the worlds tragedy.

So when love fails and the earth falls the Sea will stand still.

Watching you stop your pain with a

pill,

but it never really stops the pain Does it? So the sorrow sea will sing louder because you are not the one to blame.

An Ode to the beautiful Sea, the one who loves even the broken,

and keeps my tragedy.

I often find myself righting about the sea, and for the longest time I wondered why or what that meant, and In this poem the sea is God. How we take advantage of the life given and how even thought we don’t sing back he still loves the broken. How he never gives up and never stops singing. How nobody will notice him, but he notices you. How he will sing louder and more for the broken. This month with the NaPoWriMo challenge has really helped me find who I am as a writer, and yes it was difficult to keep up some times but, I had a lot of fun and it helped me grow as a writer and a person.

Never Jump.

“And reality hits; I stand up,

Looking down, down

On the pavement, down at him, he is still as he looks at the stars, but he

Never gets up. His

Eyes sad as a drop of life falls out, And I become alone,

alone again.”:

Your supposed to follow the rules. Your supposed to

~Hide

~Duck

~Run

When you hear the sound of a gun,

your supposed to keep your bloody mouth shut when something as small as a pebble can send a welcoming hello to the devil. When your life becomes no longer yours. You do not get a say when there is a bullet in your brain. But Adam never got the rules, or maybe he did, but the way of the world didn’t apply to him.

“Can you start from the beginning Miss Strange?”

“Okay… the beginning”

March 7th (I think):

It is cold and wet but that’s what you get for living in Seattle, right? Adam.. my best friend, my neighbor.. The love of my life. He grew up right next door in a small apartment off Alasken way. He was absolutely perfect. He was strong and chiseled like a statue from Rome. He was kind and loving. He always knew what to say even when there where no words left. His voice; sweet like honey, yet still rough like stone. The way he saw the world was beautiful, and when I was with him so was I. He would count my freckles and love each one. Each freckle another impurity made to be loved. Every scar just another part of me, and I believed him. He took interest in what I liked. He encouraged me to do what I love. To not let the weight of the world hold me back, but when it does; when it becomes to heavy for me to hold alone, when the fighting becomes to loud, the hits to hard, the scars to deep. He would take it from me, he would set me free and put the world on pause. Laying underneath the stop light, the world quiet. We would watch the stares dance across the sky, the moon providing the music. We would dance all night, hand in hand. He would spin me and time would re-wind, to a time I was ok. To a time the crash never happened. To a time where Sophie was still alive. To a time where everything wasn’t always my fault, and the hits didn’t hurt and the tears didn’t burn and my heart wasn’t broken. He would spin me faster and faster till I was ok, till the stop light bleed red, and for the first time I would be in the same rhythm, the same speed withe the rest of the world. But this time he didn’t spin me to dry my tears or to see me smile. He didn’t wrap himself around me to keep me from breaking or to protect me from the world, but to protect me from the bullet, to protect me from shattering.

Your supposed to hide, duck, run. Those are the rules. Your supposed to follow the rules. Every man for himself. That is what you learn from the time you are born. Hide, duck, run. That is what you are supposed to do, not jump. Never jump because the guns are not filled with roses but thorns, and this is not a movie, there is no happy ending. Not for people like us, not for people like me and a lot more will bleed red than the stop light on main street.

The sound of the gun sends me flying. The sky shattering and the moon retreating. We lay on the pavement looking up towards the empty sky. Kids again, we giggle at something that once was so funny. I turn to him,his eyes so full of life and love. His smile radiating. “I love you” I say. I love you. I start to cry now, my tears streaming as the stop light bleeds red again. His eyes now older, sadder. This isn’t right. And reality hits. I stand up, looking down. Down on the pavement, down on him. He is still as he looks at the stars. He never got up, his eyes sad as a drop of life falls out. “I love you,” he whispers and I become alone. Alone again. The world falls apart. I fall apart. Should have been me. Hide, duck, run. Should have been me.

I pause and look up, realizing I’m still talking, realizing I’m not alone. I am in an all white room. I make eye contact with the officer sitting across from me. He is young, maybe late 30’s. He looks tired, sad. I wonder if he can feel how I feel or somehow hear me screaming. My eyes burn. The officer straightens up. “Do you know who killed him…” he stops “Killed Adam.. Miss Violet Strange?” I look down, I don’t want to speak. I don’t want to be here. I don’t even want to be alive. Because that makes this real, and that makes Adam dead. I look up at him and we make eye contact again. I don’t know what happened but I say what is real. What I know to be true. “Turns out… the world became to heavy, to fast to much…even for him.” I take a long pause. “and … he wasn’t the only thing that bleed red on main street.”

Hide, Duck, Run

Jump

Hollow

Anxiety fills the boy’s stomach, the shadow creeps slowly across the room. He can’t see their faces but he knows they’re staring. He can feel their gaze cut threw him. His anxiety is expanding in his chest like a ballon. Rising up. Going to pop. He feels as if it will burst out his chest at any moment. They circle around him. They are sharks in the deep sea and he is the chum. He is small and weak compared to them. “What do you want from me!” he screams. No answer. They move closer. “What do you want from me!!” he screams even louder. They stop moving. Their eyes burning a hole through him. They say nothing, but yet he can understand them. A thousand words unsaid, but he can hear them all. It is quiet, and all you can hear is the boy, the boy’s fear. And it stays quiet for a long time. “Please,” the boy peeps like a small child. “Please…don’t.” He says again and it barely comes out. One tear rolls down his cheek. Still pale from fear. It falls to the ground, you can hear it hit the floor. It is as loud as a tornado siren and it is the only sound you can hear for miles. As soon as it hits the floor he’s back. Back in the crowded hallway full of half alive high schoolers. He stands there, thousands of people passing him but he is alone. He wipes his face and walks away.

Two Sentence Story

And reality hits; I stand up,

Looking down, down

On the pavement, down at him, he is still as he looks at the stars, but he

Never gets up. His

Eyes sad as a drop of life falls out, And I become alone,

alone again.

~ I am writing a short story off my two sentence story, and the sentences in this are really long so sorry about that